


They'll Always Have The Moon

by daenyara



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 11:52:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18799807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daenyara/pseuds/daenyara





	They'll Always Have The Moon

**_[Letter written by Natasha Romanoff for James Barnes while he was in Wakanda]_ **

_Dear James,_

_You’re never going to read this letter, I don’t have the courage to send it. You don’t remember me anyway. But that’s alright. It’s kind of our story, isn’t it? The brain-washing, the fights… there’s always someone trying to make us forget who we are, and who we love. And yet, somehow, you always find your way back to me. Just like you promised._

_I’ll keep my promises, too. When all of this is over, we’ll be together._

_Yours,_

_Nat_

* * *

 

**_[Excerpt from James Barnes’ journal]_ **

_I think I remember, now. Or at least I’m starting to. It was the colour of her hair⎼ that ruby red I keep seeing in my dreams. At first, I thought it was blood. That’s what I drown in every time I close my eyes. Until I saw her face, her eyes staring back at me as she smiled, and her red hair lit by the froze Russian sunlight._

_Natalia._

_Yes, I remember Natalia. I think I loved her, and she loved me. I wonder if she still does, even though I couldn’t even recognize her._

_I’m trying so hard to remember what happened, but my head feels empty and packed at the same time. Maybe I’m just afraid of what I might find if I dig deeper. Afraid of collapsing into chaos, again._

_It doesn’t matter, anyway. Because everything I haven’t forgotten about love comes from her, so I’ll dig as deep as I can and I’ll find it. And if darkness finds me once more, Natalia will bring me back, I’m sure of it._

_I cannot explain it, but I feel like that’s what we used to do. Save each other from ourselves, over and over._

* * *

  
Bucky looks outside the window. He’s been back for less than a week, and he has already lost so much.

_Tony Stark_ , son of Howard and Maria Stark, died right before his eyes. Bucky had promised himself he would’ve atoned for his sin. Instead, he couldn’t even say sorry.

_Steve_ , his best friend... He’s alive, of course, but it still feels like a loss. Apparently, this present wasn’t good enough for him.

_And Natalia_.

Bucky chokes back his tears.

There are so many things left unsaid, things he hasn’t had the time to tell her. Like the fact that he remembers her, now. He remembers loving her and being loved back. He remembers it perfectly, because it’s not just a memory. They never truly lost each other, they never really ceased to love each other.

Now she’ll never know. He would try to tell her anyway, but her grave is just an empty coffin under a pile of dirt and flowers. He won’t find her there, he’s pretty sure about that.

Maybe he should do like Steve and go back to his lost love. But he knows Nat would never forgive him. She would want him to go on.

He’ll do that for her.

And no matter what happens, _they’ll always have the moon_.


End file.
